Life as I know it...

Wow - a new blog post. A fresh page. It's been a while.

Seven years ago, my first post was right. I totally forgot about this space until a friend reminded me, and then when I looked back at it, I found that I really miss writing (and just general silliness 😁) I mean, Herman Weiners - c'mon! How can you NOT miss that?

What I find absolutely crazy, is that seven years ago I feel like I had so much more to say. Is that just unbridled youth? Feelings bursting at the seams and not having enough sense to realize that about 90% of those feelings are fluid and passing... that you'll wake up the next morning and the thought/feeling that tortured/exhilarated you the day before is gone.

Part of that scares me - like I've lost a piece of myself or that my spirit's been broken. And let's be honest... another part of me feels GROWN. 😎 It's nice to know that even intense feelings aren't permanent.. that life will go on and eventually... everything really will be okay.

Right now in my little tiny spot in the universe, everything is not okay. Time is rocket-ship fast, I'm not living up to my obligations, and every area of my life can be most accurately described as being "in transition". I'm not settled. I'm not focused. I'm not... happy.

I used to be happy.

Despite all this negativity - as previously mentioned... everything will be okay. I guess I'm scared and sad that even though I know that, I just know it less now. Is that age? Is that experience teaching me something? Is it just me becoming pessimistic? Indigestion? Probably indigestion.

Whatever the case - I do still firmly believe in the impermanence of feelings. So... that said, I'm looking forward to when I wake up tomorrow morning. 😌